This post is a long time coming. That said, I’ve struggled with writing it because I don’t want to misconstrue my feelings, and in turn, send the wrong message. For the last few years my school is on a kindness crusade. All we promote, all we talk about, is being kind to each other. Sounds great right? I agree it’s a great vision- and I’m happy to be a part. That said- I don’t always buy into it completely. I’ve always had something tugging at me that we were actually getting it wrong. And this year- my experiences in blogging have showed me just how right I was to feel this way. Kindness is part of the answer. No one can ever say that kindness has fallout- except that it’s creating a world where the expectation is that others will be as kind as we are. I am here to tell you- that is not a fair expectation. To you and me we likely know this- but to kids- they will think kindness is magic. Until it isn’t.
This has been the toughest year in blogging for me. Instagram has created a culture of disaster. ALL that matters (on the surface) is how many likes you get on your pictures. If you aren’t someone who gets 1000’s of likes on your pictures (bought or real) you are no one. When I started years ago- the likes didn’t matter as much- because they didn’t necessarily amount to success. Now they have the potential to do just that- thanks to the way Instagram now works. (this is the reason you see bloggers doing giveaways and encouraging you to like and comment on their posts) Likes really can make or break you.
So back to kindness. I have always come from a place of enough with blogging. I was nice to people regardless of how many followers they have, or how many likes they got. The only thing I ever watched for was whether or not they were using honest methods to find success. Other than that- I was always open to collaborating and even rooted people on.
Over time though, some of these people have begun to grow faster than me. They’ve started to get more likes than me. And now when I reach out as they did to me- I’m ignored. Have you ever noticed most often times bloggers who are friends have the same numbers? I’ve written to so many bloggers to team up and often times- they don’t even take the time to answer.
Will kindness save me now?
No- but resilience will.
I think of my students and what this would do to them. They wouldn’t understand how someone who they showed kindness to wouldn’t do the same. Hell- I don’t always understand it. That said- I’m lucky to be a pretty resilient person- and that’s all that’s saving me now. Make no mistake I teach my students resilience as much as I teach them kindness.
We cannot control other people choosing kindness- but we can control how resilient we are when they don’t.
If you’re struggling with other people’s choices- shift your focus. We can’t control that. What we can control is how react and ultimately- move on.
Sadly in life, people WILL fail us. That said, we can still manage- we can still succeed.
So when I tell you how appreciative I am of this Squad I mean it. Thank you for being here, and fhaving my back no matter what the numbers next to my name say.
xo
