Sunsets and Stilettos

There has been a shift this holiday season- it’s like the social media world finally realized that the holidays can be hard for some people. There have been posts, images and graphics all centered around being sensitive to others- and I’m so glad to see that being brought to light. Sadly though, we will still be bombarded with other people’s holidays, gifts, and best of nine memories from 2019. 

​Whether you are in the spirit or not, please know we are all in the misery together. HA! Hear me out. It is in our nature (thanks social media) to wish for more than we have. In this day and age it is SO EASY to come from a place of lack- as opposed to a place of abundance. In fact, there is someone out there wishing for what you DO have. There’s a teen wishing for the friends you have, an unhappily married woman is wishing for your single days, an over-scheduled mama is wishing for your quiet, the happily married woman is wishing for the baby you have, and the person on a journey back to wellness is wishing for your healthy body. Powerful thought isn’t it?

Please don’t misunderstand- by no means I am belittling the feelings that go along with wishing for more- there is NOTHING wrong with having dreams for your future. It’s also possible to be thankful and not in the Christmas spirit all at once. Wishing for more is human- and I give you permission to do just that. I know I have. 

In fact- wishing for more was my only line of thinking for a LONG time. My mantra was “It will be better when…” It will be better when I got a job. It will be better when I got tenure. It will be better when I finally meet someone.”  Spoiler alert: I eventually got all of those things- and sadly- by that time I had another piece of my life- another piece of my heart-  taken from me. And I was never getting it back. Now I sometimes sit with all I DO have- missing what used to be- imagine that. I learned my lesson- sadly- too late. 

The sad and most beautiful part of this message is that there will always be something to wish for. 

In those years where something was missing for me- I showered what I did have with love. Even if my heart wasn’t focused on the gratitude for friends, family, health of even employment- I chose those things and spoiled them rotten. I didn’t have to buy tons of stuff- (though some years I did) thank you notes and  small tokens go just as far and people are SO touched by even the smallest acts. If you’re not feeling as thankful as you’d like- give thanks. 

If you’re not in the Christmas spirit- THAT’S OK. Sometimes there is just Christmas- and sometimes it’s not as merry as we’d like. The things you wish for ARE coming- we never know how far they are. Until then be sure to look around at how things are now- because again, change IS coming- and you’ll never again be where you stand today. For better or for worse. And sometimes we won’t know which it is until we are looking back. 

Please don’t misunderstand- by no means I am belittling the feelings that go along with wishing for more- there is NOTHING wrong with having dreams for your future. It’s also possible to be thankful and not in the Christmas spirit all at once. Wishing for more is human- and I give you permission to do just that. I know I have. 

In fact- wishing for more was my only line of thinking for a LONG time. My mantra was “It will be better when…” It will be better when I got a job. It will be better when I got tenure. It will be better when I finally meet someone.”  Spoiler alert: I eventually got all of those things- and sadly- by that time I had another piece of my life- another piece of my heart-  taken from me. And I was never getting it back. Now I sometimes sit with all I DO have- missing what used to be- imagine that. I learned my lesson- sadly- too late. 

The sad and most beautiful part of this message is that there will always be something to wish for. So this way you feel- it can only change if you shift your perspective. 

In those years where something was missing for me- I showered what I did have with love. Even if my heart wasn’t focused on the gratitude for friends, family, health of even employment- I chose those things and spoiled them rotten. I didn’t have to buy tons of stuff- (though some years I did) thank you notes and  small tokens go just as far and people are SO touched by even the smallest acts. If you’re not feeling as thankful as you’d like- give thanks. 

If you’re not in the Christmas spirit- THAT’S OK. Sometimes there is just Christmas- and sometimes it’s not as merry as we’d like. The things you wish for ARE coming- we never know how far they are. Until then be sure to look around at how things are now- because again, change IS coming- and you’ll never again be where you stand today. For better or for worse. And sometimes we won’t know which it is until we are looking back.