Sunsets and Stilettos

I don’t know if there is an epidemic worse than the Comparison Game right now. We have heard all of the platitudes about the grass being greener, and I can tell you that I’ve told myself this for years- and it has made 0 difference. I didn’t know that though, until I found myself inside one of the most cut-throat, competitive industries I’ve ever been a part of. Being a part of the blogging world is no easy feat, and it can take a toll if I let it. ​I’ve often said that one of the things that makes teaching so hard is that it’s a field run almost entirely on emotion- and emotion, is not always rational. To me, much of blogging is run on competition. How many followers, how many likes… it’s all out of control. I personally believe there are no friends in blogging- and that’s because of the comparison game. There was a time it got to me- and there are times it still does- but I have found a way to get around it- and I’m surprised it took me as long as it did.I started to think of my both my thoughts and how
I spend my time as one of only two things:
OFFENSE or DEFENSE.
If you’re playing too much defense, you’re doing it wrong.My theory is this- by the time we tell ourselves to realize that the grass is always greener- the poison has already set in. The comparison has been made. And it’s hard to unsee something… to unthink it. We can try our best to talk ourselves out of the comparison madness- but I believe our subconscious mind is hard at work. All of this- is playing DEFENSE. So my goal is to not see anything in the first place. 

I realized every time I was comparing myself to someone else- it was taking time away from my offense. My offense is when I’m putting helpful things out into the world or making my own world better- and THAT is what I need to be doing. Likely- so do you. Every minute I spend looking at what others have or are doing, is a minute I could have been reading about essential oils or practicing my favorite yoga routine. 

I have unfollowed, unsubscribed, and started saying NO to anything that leads me to playing defense. I’ve started investing my energy in myself, in ALL OF YOU, and in trying to make your lives better. I can tell you- it has changed everything. I have become CONSUMED with putting all of you first- and that has made me forget the numbers, the disingenuous girls, and the comparison game. It has allowed me to be happy for others’ successes much more than ever before.

So how can we apply this to every day life? Spend less time on the things that suck your soul dry and more time on the ones that grow pretty flowers inside your tummy. Sounds ridiculous but nevertheless… 

Every minute we spend looking at what others have or are doing, is one minute we lost loving ourselves or the ones we care most about. 
Bettering your world or the world around you, is your offense. 

One reason I’ve been asking you to do for yourself if because I want you to woo yourselves into falling in love- WITH YOU. This way you will find it easier to prioritize what makes you happy- your offense- and minimize the times we are playing defense in life. Don’t like the teacher’s lounge for lunch? DON’T GO. Spend your lunch reading a book or a blog, or planning a great dinner for family, or an awesome activity for you and your kids. (if that is your thing)

Focus on your offense and you can’t go wrong. It will obliterate the comparison game while you aren’t even playing it. It will be the kind of world others’ strive to have themselves- it will be a world you love SO MUCH that you won’t have time to wonder what else anyone else is doing… and if THAT isn’t winning the comparison game- I don’t know what is.